This led to years of on and off erectile dysfunction. But I was so goddamn nervous the night I tried to lose my virginity. I had no idea why, because we’d been doing mouth and hand stuff for months, and I was always like a Chevy Suburban: hard as a rock. The first time I attempted to have sex with my girlfriend, I couldn’t get erect. It’s an unfortunate reality that some of our first sexual experiences can set the tone for the rest of our sex life. But since you have no problem climaxing solo, it sounds like it's all psychological, as you suggested. If you also had trouble orgasming by yourself, I'd say it might be a physical problem. Now, regarding your question: I think you're dealing with performance anxiety. How hung were they? Were they hot? This has nothing to do with answering your question. I would like to know more about this time you were double-penetrated. But even finding the right one to deal with something like this is a daunting task in itself.
30 year old gay men having sex how to#
I just don’t even know how to start addressing this issue without speaking to a therapist. The first time I ever bottomed, I almost came, but I thought I was going to pee because I’d never had an orgasm of which I wasn’t in control before.Įven when I got DP'd by two guys, I still couldn’t finish. I can’t orgasm from bottoming, and especially not from topping. Only I can do it when I’m masturbating alone. I’m a 30-year-old gay man, and no one can make me orgasm. To submit a question for a future column, fill out this form. Ask me anything-literally, anything-and I will gladly Sexplain It.
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I'm here to answer your most pressing sex questions with thorough, actionable advice that isn't just "communicate with your partner," because you know that already. In doing so, I've learned a thing or two about navigating issues in the bedroom (and a bunch of other places, TBH). Over the years, I've had my fair share of sexual experiences, dating and sleeping with hundreds of people of all genders and orientations. I'm Zachary Zane, a sex writer and ethical manwhore (a fancy way of saying I sleep with a lot of people, and I'm very, very open about it).